Domestic Dilemma Enthusiast Gifts

'Woman stuck in unfulfilling marriage seeks companion ... Hey, this is your cell phone number!'

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

Whack-A-Chore: "You play it all day, every day, until you can't anymore."

''Adam and Eve'? -- then You're going ahead with the dualism idea?'

'Darling, wake up, I've just realised ... we're not HD ready.'

'Well, if you insist on using logic I see little point in continuing this argument.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

Sex Equality

'Did I say billions? I meant jillions.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

'You're in my light!'

Secret Family Recipe for Disaster.

'I think your doctor gave you the wrong note, Sir. We don't have any bread and milk.'

"He was gold prospecting, but since he dropped his phone in the water, he's now phone prospecting."

The Brook-Green Volunteer Pt. 8

"You have a truly magnificent scowl!"

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'

"Uh-oh this is going to be a tough one."

"It doesn't get any more low-maintenance than this!"

"Gone insane. Your dinner's in a wheelbarrow on the M25."

"My dog didn't eat my homework. My husband did."

Burp! Tap. Reflux, where reflex should be.

'They like the manna, but they're afraid you're fattening them up for something.'

'Can I tell you about my day? Or would you rather watch it on the evening news?'

'Banks' man pulling petals out of a flower marked 'Sell out' 'Don't sell out'.

Well, not only have I made Iraq a safer place to live, but I've just tidied the kitchen too!

"Would you have liked any help?"

"I need to talk about my inner life."

"Hold it right there."

The Lottery

'Milt should be home anytime, moaning as usual about the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.'

Dear Diary. . .bored with nothing to do, be glad when Doris gets home from work!