Divine Dilemma Enthusiast Gifts

''Adam and Eve'? -- then You're going ahead with the dualism idea?'

'They like the manna, but they're afraid you're fattening them up for something.'

The Lottery

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

"If we went to war, wouldn't God be on the spot?"

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

'Darling, wake up, I've just realised ... we're not HD ready.'

'We need a memory upgrade ourselves to remember all these passwords.'

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

Left and Right: Please be consistent.

A man's health care options.

'Darling you'll be so proud of me, I've just written my first email. Now I must rush to get it in the post.'

New Years Reolutions

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my computer equipment these days.'

"If your computer crashes alone in a forest, and no one complains, does IT respond?"

Mousetrap has captured the wrong type of mouse.

"Law or Accountancy? What d'you want to do - make money or count money?"

Tasting Zoo

Pick a direction.

It isn't about what's right or wrong, but choosing what's right for you. Therapy makes shopping way more difficult.

My dog ate my flash drive, and that's where I stored my homework.

"Oh shit! What have I done? Undo key! Undo key!"

"You only made it halfway, Barnes. We're looking for someone who is a little tougher."

"The account number you entered on your keypad is incorrect. Your phone will self destruct in minus ten seconds."

Jesus forgets to save.

"The first adult decision he's had to make is choosing between driving and texting.

'Free will? -- I think they need more structure than that.'

"Theologian? You guys are always fun."

'I think your doctor gave you the wrong note, Sir. We don't have any bread and milk.'

Brain vs heart

Decision time again for Mr Greenspan.

"He was gold prospecting, but since he dropped his phone in the water, he's now phone prospecting."

The angel and the devil.