Divine Dilemmas Gifts

"If we went to war, wouldn't God be on the spot?"

New Years Reolutions

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."

"These are the care instructions. And if things don’t work out, there’s a recipe on the back."

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

'Bugger it, we're out of beer!'

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

''Adam and Eve'? -- then You're going ahead with the dualism idea?'

"Right, we could go with the ethical decision, but let's not panic yet."

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

"From the looks of things, I shouldn't have rested on the seventh day."

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

"I'm running late for totally dignified reasons."

A Toxic-Waste-Think-Tank With Toxic-Thoughts.

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

'If we have everlasting life, what about entropy?'

Angel and devil versions of a man prepare for a shoot out.