Domestic Discord Dabbler Gifts

"Not tonight dear, I hate you with every fibre of my being."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

Practice Pigs at the Gene Farm

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

The Screeeen!

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

'I can't decide whether to get a lawyer or tell the truth.'

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

"When I evolve I'm going to be an elephant."

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

'What was the question?'

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

'I was going to hunt for them. Then I thought hey - why not just clone new ones!'

Biolab. I put collie DNA into a shark. I got a fish that still bites --- but then it goes for help.

AUKUS Alliance

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

Driving school car has sign on the rear; 'How's my learning?'

I'm sure it's here somewhere!

"Pretty good, but I'll bet you can't hit him again."

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

A knitter's in and out boxes

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'