Diplomatic Dabbler Gifts

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

The Screeeen!

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

'What was the question?'

"When I evolve I'm going to be an elephant."

AUKUS Alliance

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

U R Here

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

A knitter's in and out boxes

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

'I'm not convinced hunting is an improvement on gathering.'

'It's just a first draft.'

Riddle behind the mask

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'

Toy boat on a tsunami.

Ceramics Dept. (You Break It, You Bought It.) Book Dept. (You Speed-Read It, You bought It.)

I accidently deleted my hard drive, but it's okay. All the important stuff is on the refrigerator anyway.

"Unfortunately polishing my mouse isn't as relaxing sharpening my pencils."