Domestic Comedian Gifts

'But, sweety, why don't you just read my blog, like everyone else?'

'That's the last time I ask you to do the laundry!'

'Derek loves doing the ironing.'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

"I'm just finishing something off...Can I call you back in...about two minutes?"

'At least the mess I make is all in one place'

"When you have a minute love, my 'new man' t-shirt needs ironing."

'Is it a wart or a boil, doc?'

Lady to caveman: 'Watch your step - I just waxed the stalagmites.'

"When you say your life has gone from the 'sublime to the ridiculous' where do I fit in?"

'Fold those trousers properly...'

"Honey, the dishwasher is doing that thing again."

"Okay so you invented fire! Help out in the kitchen!"

"Do you know how distracting it is when you spin the chamber on that revolver?"

'I think my husband is trying to bore me to death.'

"Hey babe. . . I'm out of clean underwear!"

"Working late - your dinner is in the balance."

'You're breathing out deliberately!'

"Have you blocked the toilet again..?

"Hey - we could do with another light bulb. . !"

'Darling, the recipe calls for Dover Soles. Where do you keep them?'

"I'm going to switch things up. Instead of a sock, I'm going to make some underwear disappear."

Towels embroidered with 'Me', and 'No... Me.'

'...Oh, and I bought some new smalls in town...'

'Dear,what's for dinner tonight?... I have two other offers.'

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

'That's not true, I do listen. I'm just not very interested.'

'Brace yourself, dear. The doctor says I'm allergic to lousy cooking.'

'How come I haven't got a pair of socks?'

"Oh George dear, I have a great rebuttal for that last stupid argument of yours."

"No, that social distancing is not a new thing."

'I'm sorry, dear, but you've been made redundant.'

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

"Well, you have been an accountant for 40 years Roger. You'd think you'd know how to do a spreadsheet!"