Domestic Champions Pillows

Statue of a housewife.

The five stages of laundry 1. Denial I'll do it tomorrow. 2. Anger Why are there no clean clothes!? 3. Bargaining Ok! Who wants to help with the laundry? 4. Depression Can't. Do. It. 5. Acceptance

'... and I got this one for being a dishwasher.'

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'Occupation? You name it, that's ME.'

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

'He has his pet and I have mine.'

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

Iron Lady and Iron Man

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

'Well at least your washing up arm is O.K!'

Man of steel wool.

"Sloth is a sin."

"You confused the Sudso box with the Cruncho box."

"OK, honey, if I make this one, we blow off Delia's recital."

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'

'Right now he's painting himself in a corner.'

"...But it's only Thursday. I'll be confused all day now."

Bird Cage Cover over Wife's Head

Husband does the housework

"You can't leave! I haven't had dinner yet!"

Human Dust Buster

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

"Synchronized sitting"

'Well, if I have rights, I demand the right not to be neutered!'

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

Good disciplinarian gaining respect vs. scary nutcase.

"Oh, are you attacking from home today?"