Domestic Skill Champions Pillows

'I was home schooled. It stands for 'Master of Bedmaking and Aerobic housecleaning'.'

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

Not much money, glory, or praise

'Well at least your washing up arm is O.K!'

'My wife gave me that one for washing the windows.'

'I don't have to go to school. My mom teachers me.'

'He's won an exotic holiday to Easter Island and it's gone straight to his head.'

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

"And now your General Knowledge Round...Where does clean laundry come from?"

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

'I got this one from my son who made it at camp.'

"I brought a new can opener, but let's save the old one in case we ever need a broken can opener."

Wife taking a photo of her husband and their shoveled walk-way

The five stages of laundry 1. Denial I'll do it tomorrow. 2. Anger Why are there no clean clothes!? 3. Bargaining Ok! Who wants to help with the laundry? 4. Depression Can't. Do. It. 5. Acceptance

Why do you always get to ash and I always have to dry?

'I didn't forget to empty my pockets. That's your tip.'

Pinterest shaming

Defense Not losing Goal Offense Winning

Statue of a housewife.

The First Tattoo

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

How come you never take any of my ideas seriously? I'm a marketing genius. I have a long track record of attracting business in both the residential and commercial sectors. What? When? Where? I've generated hundreds of billions of simoleans in the last 24 years. Wait ... Are you taking about Sim City"? Everything I touch turns to solid gold!

'Why don't you put that little black belt thingy to good use, and karate chop me a couple of shelves for the hall closet!'

"Since he lost his job I try to keep him busy around the house."

'I hate Mondays!'

Never give up! Unless it's really h.....

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

Home Schooling: "And this is what we call the 'washing machine'."

I told you, when you chisel a statue, start at the top.

'Did they have anything at the job centre?'

"He's one in a million."

'When he finally exhausts his vocabularly that's when I call the plumber.'