Sharpening Domestic Skills Pillows

"I brought a new can opener, but let's save the old one in case we ever need a broken can opener."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

Ironing day.

"I don't do windows."

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

Culinary surgery.

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

Fishing Contest

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

You are more than your job description.

"Clark...is there something you'd like to tell me?"

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that.'

'You know, sometimes I think we don't even speak the same body language.'

"Well he's sweating, pale, and out of breath, but then again he's not used to being home doing the housework."

'I was home schooled. It stands for 'Master of Bedmaking and Aerobic housecleaning'.'

"Marie has been planning for my retirement for years."

'What is wrong with you, Covington? Larson's sales territory is twice the size of yours, and yet she managed to find the time to learn how to palm a basketball!'

Wedding Cake with groom hoovering

Everyone thinks they can do it

"My husband wants me to be like Martha Stewart but I told him I don't do impressions."

'I love to watch them going round and imagine Fred in there with them.'

"Darling, sorry to bother you, but the steak won't fit into the toaster..."

'...open beer bottles with his teeth.'

"Once you learn, though, you'll never forget."

'Herbert just loves to help with the dishes.'

Distracted young couple let hot water overflow

"It works!"

"The job is very stressful. You'll be expected to think fast, talk loud, and parallel park in heavy traffic."