Doggie Dictator Gifts

"Sorry, bud. You know the rules... Dibs is dibs."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

"Humans are strange."

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

'I try and humour him...it's the only exercise he gets!'

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"The dog is developing quicker than me."

These colour charts are ridiculous... coal' black, 'midnight' black, 'licquorice black'.' - 'There's too much choice! All I want is plain old boring bl-' - 'Ooooooh... 'panther' black.' -

"I got you some flowers..watered them, too.".

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

"She never took to the leash."

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

A dog reads a newspaper

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

Angel in heaven walking a dog that is peeing off of a cloud

This next song is also about food. I probably don't even need to say that anymore, do I.

"My human can't tell which end is which."

'Will work for tummy rub.'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"The best thing is he works without WiFi or a data plan."

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

'No Sandra, I don't hear a whistle either. '

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'