Dog Discipline Humor Gifts

'It's disgusting! He just sits and licks his balls all day.'

"It get it – you're hungry."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"You keep impeccable time."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Dog wearing a cone

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

'No need to shout.'

"You're God-knows-where all day long, then at night you pounce on my head... this is not a relationship."

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

'That's the problem with Dacshunds, you can never tell whether they're coming or going.'

"It's OK! Stop splashing!"

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

"I like the new scratching post so much better."

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

'No, no that's not what I mean by trim the motor!'

"No, I said 'sit'."

'Play dead.'

"Quick, act casual."

"I'm not supposed to eat things I find on the ground...but I think this might be ok."

'Maybe we should rethink this new dog door.'

"Worms."

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory?'

When the cats realized that Hubert had permanently taken over their favourite couch, they took action.