Dog Behaviour Dilettante Gifts

Bark bark bark bark

Mayhem, Inc. Part 2

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

The Salvador Deli

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

The singles bar...

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

"You know who's a big pain in the a*s? Europe."

Rusty and Molly's first date was going beautifully until the 'car tyre incident.

"I dunno. It just doesn't "feel" like a diaper."

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'

'I sure hope this 'timeout' thing is just a phase with Mom.'

Prisoner to other: 'But what I actually ended up doing was consolidating all my debts into one ten-year sentence.'

"So how was your date with Smiley?"

'You don't do faith healing do you?'

I had a great time tonight, and I'd like to see you again in 4-6 months. When doctors date.

"You are headed south. Your destination is straight ahead."

"I spilled the beans last night so I wouldn't have to eat them."

Teddy Roosevelt Institute. "Walk softly and carry a big stick." Charm school. Harm school.

'Dressage? But Son, what about something more virile like Rodeo or Polo?'

'I don't need a GPS. I'm guided by greed.'

Good knight ... sweet prince. She's trying to decide who to date.

'Lucifer casts out into Hell'

'If you want somewhere quiet and without crowds...I recommend Greece.'

IRS. Pay Taxes Here. It's the amount owe

'And then he yells MAN EATER and I say, MAN EATER?! MOI?!!'