Dog Behaviour Dilettante T-Shirts

Bark bark bark bark

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

The Salvador Deli

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

The singles bar...

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

Rusty and Molly's first date was going beautifully until the 'car tyre incident.

"You know who's a big pain in the a*s? Europe."

"I dunno. It just doesn't "feel" like a diaper."

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'

"I spilled the beans last night so I wouldn't have to eat them."

'You don't do faith healing do you?'

'I sure hope this 'timeout' thing is just a phase with Mom.'

Prisoner to other: 'But what I actually ended up doing was consolidating all my debts into one ten-year sentence.'

"So how was your date with Smiley?"

'Dressage? But Son, what about something more virile like Rodeo or Polo?'

'I don't need a GPS. I'm guided by greed.'

'If you want somewhere quiet and without crowds...I recommend Greece.'

'Lucifer casts out into Hell'

'And then he yells MAN EATER and I say, MAN EATER?! MOI?!!'

"...I have no idea how to make cheese."