Dog Antihero Gifts

'That's so disgusting.'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

The Family Joules: Part 16

No Soliciting

Cat in Tree.

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

A Change of Scene.

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Even Superheroes Are Always On Their Phones

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

'I distinctly remember saying 'No Starch'.'

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

Dog being carried off by ducks.

"You want real pressure?!! Try where I work."

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

'I hate to break this to you, Clark, but your buns of steel have turned to jello.'

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

Gullboy and Pigeonman

Criminal Germs

"Now that I'm getting older it takes more than a single bound to leap a tall building."

"Humans destroy our natural habitat and then say we're an invasive species."

"Aquaman, it's great that you have these aquatic powers, but I wish you also didn't sh*t like a fish."

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"Orange juice, 1/2 lb. bacon, dozen eggs, bread, coffee..."

'I know you needed a career change, Dear, but we were doing so much better when you were an accountant!'

Natural Selection: Animal Defense Mechanisms

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

Sidekick speed matching service.

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'