Dog Antihero Pillows

'That's so disgusting.'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

No Soliciting

Cat in Tree.

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

A Change of Scene.

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Even Superheroes Are Always On Their Phones

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

'I distinctly remember saying 'No Starch'.'

Dog being carried off by ducks.

"Aquaman, it's great that you have these aquatic powers, but I wish you also didn't sh*t like a fish."

"You want real pressure?!! Try where I work."

Criminal Germs

Gullboy and Pigeonman

'I hate to break this to you, Clark, but your buns of steel have turned to jello.'

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

"Humans destroy our natural habitat and then say we're an invasive species."

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"Orange juice, 1/2 lb. bacon, dozen eggs, bread, coffee..."

'I know you needed a career change, Dear, but we were doing so much better when you were an accountant!'

Natural Selection: Animal Defense Mechanisms

Sidekick speed matching service.

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."