Doctor Visit Dodger Gifts

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

'We are in a race against time and the auditors. Gentlemen...start your shredders!'

"So what brings you in today?"

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"Any yet he's always on my case."

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

"But doc, I can't understand what my body is telling me. It's mouth is always full!"

Jenkins won't be here today. He just called in healthy.

"I think I'll pass - I'm having a really bad-nose day."

Tax grab.

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

"Your sodium level is high...probably from taking everything you hear with a grain of salt!"