Doctor Visit Dodger T-Shirts

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

'We are in a race against time and the auditors. Gentlemen...start your shredders!'

"So what brings you in today?"

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

"Any yet he's always on my case."

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

"I think I'll pass - I'm having a really bad-nose day."

Tax grab.

"But doc, I can't understand what my body is telling me. It's mouth is always full!"

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

"Your sodium level is high...probably from taking everything you hear with a grain of salt!"

'Heroic stoicism has its rewards.'