Doctor's Office Survivor Gifts

"If you don't mind, I'm trying a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'Felt fine before I got here. Must've caught this from someone in the waiting room.'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"I feel your pain."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

Office Weather

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

'Time for your pills.'

Getting through the week.

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

Twisted Peel works overtime.

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

Exhausted employee

"I think you're suffering from nostalgia, Mr. Prentice."

"I'm putting you in charge of this project because you're already miserable."

Office zombie.

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'Its your archeries'

"I hate when she drags herself to work. Am I supposed to feel guilty?"

"I am totally ready for this presentation."