Doctor's Office Drama Gifts

"Well I've only got next Tuesday at 4.30!"

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

Jester Surgeon

'Let's play doctor. You can be my malpractice lawyer.'

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

'Its your archeries'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

"I think you're suffering from nostalgia, Mr. Prentice."

'Is it urgent?'

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

Love Tap

'Brain surgery, right?'

'We've decided it might be better to show your televised operation after the 9 o'clock watershed...'

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

Operation/Grim Reaper

"I'm confident he'll pull through. The tests show there is plenty of fight left in him."

'Termites!'

'T.B. or not T.B.?'

'House calls?...Dr. Latrobe doesn't even make phone calls!'

"Clear!"

"This time, Joe passes the gas, Sue cuts, Bob retracts and I grab the appendix... wait, better play... I pass the gas, Sue cuts, Lynne holds retractors, Bob grabs the appendix... wait........"

'Ready, steady, Operate'

"Wow, at last! Somebody who's really ill."

'Perhaps we should start off with an underwear transplant.'

'You can't sue. If you hadn't put the surgical gown on backwards, we would not have removed the wrong organ.'