Doctor Office Satirist Gifts

'House calls?...Dr. Latrobe doesn't even make phone calls!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Sign - Halt manager crossing

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Providing Healthcare For All

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

Virtual Doctor

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

Businessman: 'We're like one big family here, because of all the nepotism.'

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

Suggestions box in a toilet.

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

The role of administration.

'I'm sorry, Henderson - But profits are down and we have to make sacrifices.'

Saline Drip Sommelier.