Doctor Phobia Survivor Gifts

'Who wants to be examined first?'

Dead Funny

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

Healthy Patients Only

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

Therapy Group For Those Who Are Afraid of Therapy Groups

'Don't worry, I would never tell the other free range chickens you're agoraphobic.'

'It's great for reducing White Coat Hypertension.'

"Our surveillance indicates that Earthlings have a fear of right-angled triangles."

'The doctor's office said you cancelled your appointment and put a restraining order on the rest of them.'

"He hates his six-monthly visits."

"I'm helping him conquer his morbid fear of water."

"No, a fear of snakes is not unusual, but in your case..."

Danger! Snake heaven.

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to tax evasion by reason of math phobia.'

'The one thing I hate about summer - great big moths coming in at night.'

'Doctor, do you realize that's the third porcupine this week to faint at the sight of a needle?'

Bee

"If you don't mind, I'm trying a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'I don't hate Mondays -- I FEAR Mondays!'

'EKK!'

'It must be the burglars, Manfred, you know how they frighten him!'

Scared of Shadows.

Phobia of Water

'Felt fine before I got here. Must've caught this from someone in the waiting room.'

"Relax. It's just a movie."

"It's just a little pain. Really...it's nothing!"

Claustrophobics' Club

"I know it looks a brut but you shouldn't feel a thing"

'It's for someone who is claustrophobic.'

'Meet my associates - Killer, Crazy Face and Brains.'

"Press 1 to hear all about our services online even though all you really wanted was to talk to an actual person in person so bad luck there. . . Press 2 to throw the phone down in disgust..."