Disease Phobia Aficionado Gifts

Healthy Patients Only

'Who wants to be examined first?'

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

"Pencil eraser."

'Yes I'm afraid this room is bugged, but don't worry, it's just Clostridium Difficile'

'Soulless fruit flies are the nanotechnology of the fear industry.'

I'm afraid of Chia Pets, doctor. Actually, Al, so am I. Either you're getting well, or I'm going nuts.

"No, I'm scarier."

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"I think your problem is heartbeat-from-mouth syndrome."

MRSA Guide to hospital.

'For claustrophobia. Take two tablets right before hiding under the bed.'

'Get back! Get back! Or so help me...I'll eat it!'

'And why do you think you developed this overwhelming fear of couches?'

'...You have a morbid fear of the ball.'

Psychiatry. It's funny. You're a germaphobe and the last patient on that couch has a phobia about soap!

"I swear! As soon as she saw me, she jumped onto a chair and started screaming! It was hilarious..."

"Oh my god, apple pox!"

'Gervaisaphobia': The feeling that Ricky Gervais is everywhere.

I love Horror Films

Woman scared of bug

"I keep telling you - vertigo is NOT a fear of heights!"

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

'For a shy bladder, I'd recommend these shoes.'

'What is clausophobia?' - 'Fear of Father Christmas.'

Jackson's greatest fear was that he would die laughing.

'Shirley never had problems with spiders but cows just cracked her up.

Phobia varietals for home pots

'We'll be back, after this commercial break, with more reasons why its not safe to leave your house.'

"Looks like an advanced version of the bird flu."

'I'm the real thing. I'm FROM the West Nile.'

'Oh come on Justin, you know I'm terrified of luggage.'

'Do you have Vertigo?'

"Fear Factor" Rejectees