Fantasy Ailment Aficionado Gifts

"I think your problem is heartbeat-from-mouth syndrome."

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

ET Mishap

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"What the hell took so long?"

"Where the wild things were."

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

The Beard in the Stone

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

Birds Following Witch.

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"I always knew you'd come back."

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

Phoenix

"Shall I let them breathe."

'I think they're up to something.'

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

A knight in shining armor, a dragon and a princess

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

'It's a common misconception, but it's always been three fishes.'

Orientation: Welcome to Hell