Disease Phobia Aficionado Pillows

Healthy Patients Only

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.

"Pencil eraser."

'Yes I'm afraid this room is bugged, but don't worry, it's just Clostridium Difficile'

'Soulless fruit flies are the nanotechnology of the fear industry.'

"No, I'm scarier."

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"I think your problem is heartbeat-from-mouth syndrome."

MRSA Guide to hospital.

'For claustrophobia. Take two tablets right before hiding under the bed.'

'And why do you think you developed this overwhelming fear of couches?'

'...You have a morbid fear of the ball.'

'Get back! Get back! Or so help me...I'll eat it!'

I love Horror Films

"I swear! As soon as she saw me, she jumped onto a chair and started screaming! It was hilarious..."

"Oh my god, apple pox!"

'Gervaisaphobia': The feeling that Ricky Gervais is everywhere.

"I keep telling you - vertigo is NOT a fear of heights!"

'What is clausophobia?' - 'Fear of Father Christmas.'

Woman scared of bug

'Shirley never had problems with spiders but cows just cracked her up.

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

Phobia varietals for home pots

Jackson's greatest fear was that he would die laughing.

'For a shy bladder, I'd recommend these shoes.'

'We'll be back, after this commercial break, with more reasons why its not safe to leave your house.'

"Looks like an advanced version of the bird flu."

'I'm the real thing. I'm FROM the West Nile.'

'Do you have Vertigo?'

'Oh come on Justin, you know I'm terrified of luggage.'

"Fear Factor" Rejectees

'How would you like a disease named after you?'