Doctor-patient Dynamic Enthusiast Gifts

'Doctor Bohan will see you now, Mrs. Stradley, but he really doesn't want to.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

"I looked up my symptoms on the Internet and it said I might get old!"

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

'Hey, what do you want from me? As a primary care physician, ALL I DO is prescribe drugs and refer you to specialists.'

A doctor statue and a patient statue

Taking blood pressure

"It's cooties."

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

'The doctor is delayed in the hospital. I'm Lulu, the PA's assistant. How may I help you?'

"Unfortnuately, we won't know what's wrong with you until we do an autopsy."

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

"I have some good news and bad news, wonderful news, terrifying news, boring news, stunning news, technically incomprehensible news, news you should sit down to hear, and news you definitely won't take laying down. Which first?"

"He's losing his will to pay!"

I like having an older doctor. He understands my ailments and has most of em!

"First one to peek pays the other's malpractice premiums for the year."

"You've had to be kind to survive, and I've had to be nasty."

"Yes, hello. I'm hoping you've found a cure for my hiccups...but I'm not holding my breath!"

'I want to change to another doctor, because I've read all of the magazines in your waiting room.'

'The doctor will be a little late...why don't you discuss each others ailments until he gets here!'

'He's running a high fever.'

"Why don't I just tell you the treatments I'm willing to do and we'll assume I have whatever disease that's good for!"

Needlework for beginners.

'It's a nasty little rash, nothing to worry about!'

"Well, if it's elective surgery, I vote no."

"I'd like to see you a little taller, and a little younger."

"Your leg's not supposed to do that when I tap it with this little hammer."