Playful Physician Gifts

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

"First one to peek pays the other's malpractice premiums for the year."

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

'I'm sorry, Maam, but medical science still has a lot to learn about missing arms.'

Surgery Instructions.

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

"So Dr. Gracie...how are your patients today?"

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

Fish swimming around inside drip.

'I had this two years ago.'

"They used to call them G.P.s."

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

"I think your problem is heartbeat-from-mouth syndrome."

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

'We're out of sugar pills, so I'm giving you some M&M's.'

"It's cooties."