Doctor's Office Aficionado Gifts

"Your leg's not supposed to do that when I tap it with this little hammer."

M.D. Mrs. Hoskins is here to match wits with you regarding her symptoms.

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

Medical Examinations.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

Pediatrics: Anatomy

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"He's a whiz kid."

"You've got a bad case of Docwantsa Newkar."

Meds Toast

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

Air Dentistry

'I had this two years ago.'

"Sorry, I can't tell your parents you're allergic to broccoli."

'Don't worry! If your self diagnosis turns out to be correct this time, this will take care of it.'

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

"I looked up my symptoms on the Internet and it said I might get old!"

"You have what we are going to call Klitson's Disease, Mr. Klitson."

Good News, Bad News - Save the Leg.