Doctor's Office Aficionado T-Shirts

"Your leg's not supposed to do that when I tap it with this little hammer."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

Medical Examinations.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

Pediatrics: Anatomy

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

Air Dentistry

"You've got a bad case of Docwantsa Newkar."

Meds Toast

"He's a whiz kid."

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

'I had this two years ago.'

"Sorry, I can't tell your parents you're allergic to broccoli."

'Don't worry! If your self diagnosis turns out to be correct this time, this will take care of it.'

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

"I looked up my symptoms on the Internet and it said I might get old!"

"You have what we are going to call Klitson's Disease, Mr. Klitson."

Good News, Bad News - Save the Leg.

'...and what's really interesting is that there's still 99.9% of the human brain we still know nothing about.'

'Try not to think about your car-parking charges.'