Doctor Joke Lover Pillows

'Yes, I could 'take a wild guess', but I think I'll do some tests.'

GALLSTONE SPECIALIST: This too shall pass

Man not charged enough for first opinion.

'Our employees are seeing doctors less now we've started hiring quacks.'

Lactose Intolerant

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

How To Make A Pigs Ear Out Of Swine Flu.

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

Hypochondria Hospital

"So, when will we be getting the next batch?"

"You won’t need refills."

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'McWit, I'd like to talk to you about your blood classification system.'

Machine Wipes Sweat From Surgeon's Brow.

'What do you mean, you've had a change of heart?'

'We're looking with someone with balls...not an enlarged prostate.'