Doctor Joke Collector Pillows

Lactose Intolerant

Dr. Smith Fear, Nose and Throat. Oh my!! You should be scared to death, Frank!

What you DON'T Have...

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

The Rooster Comedian.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Suffering from Cooties?

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

Useless add-ons.

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Cheating Death.

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

Shark infested custard!

Psychiatrist - "Doctor, I keep imagining I'm being followed by an impersonator."

My daddy ate my homework

Mexican Jumping Balls.

"Turn your head and cough."

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'