Doctor Jokes Collector Pillows

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Lactose Intolerant

The Rooster Comedian.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Suffering from Cooties?

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

Useless add-ons.

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

Mexican Jumping Balls.

My daddy ate my homework

Shark infested custard!

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

Cheating Death.

"Turn your head and cough."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'

Beware of balloon dog.