Doctor-patient Joke Lover Pillows

"He's losing his will to pay!"

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

'I had this two years ago.'

"You have ice water in your veins."

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

'It's me, Jack Gurkenman! I'm your ophthalmologist with the broken left ankle, doctor!'

'Hey, what do you want from me? As a primary care physician, ALL I DO is prescribe drugs and refer you to specialists.'

IV Bags: Main and Afters

'Your X-Rays are here. . . beautiful high-resolution!'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

GP say 10 minute surgery is not long enough

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

GALLSTONE SPECIALIST: This too shall pass

'What's that noise?'

"A specialist is a doctor with a smaller practice and a bigger home."

"Ah-ah-ah! - Just one symptom per customer!"

Man not charged enough for first opinion.

'Our employees are seeing doctors less now we've started hiring quacks.'

"And there's a surcharge if you insist on annoying the doctor with any self-diagnosis you found on google."

"I'm going to send you to someone who's not afraid of doing a little harm."

"Don't panic. I'm just a sore throat."

"It's the age of the specialist. In fact five out of six doctors recommend another doctor."

'Yes, I could 'take a wild guess', but I think I'll do some tests.'

"Why don't I just tell you the treatments I'm willing to do and we'll assume I have whatever disease that's good for!"

'It's a nasty little rash, nothing to worry about!'

'You can discuss sexual failure with me Mr Harmsworth, I'm trained not to laugh.'

We've discovered this cures hypochondria without even having to inject it...!

'Perhaps I was a bit TOO graphic in explaining the surgical procedure.'