Doctor-patient Banter Aficionado Pillows

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Medical Books - Lady Chatterley's Liver

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

Surgery Instructions.

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

"They used to call them G.P.s."

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

'I had this two years ago.'

"It'll have to stay on until your vasectomy heals..."

"Your EKG corresponds with the stock market report."

It was only Monday...but Dr Davies knew that it was going to be a long...long week...

'We've not met, but I'm your keyhole surgeon.'

'It's me, Jack Gurkenman! I'm your ophthalmologist with the broken left ankle, doctor!'

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

'Three, two, one. Stand clear.'

"You have natural causes.''

"I'm saying we lash out for the 'Deluxe' collagen treatment, next time, honey."

Grand rounds vs. ground rounds.

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

"Hey, how come no diplomas?" "Oh, I'm self-taught."

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

Your numerous prescriptions really have improved my love life. I'm dating my pharmacist.

Dentists who do appendectomies.

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

"Wow, at last! Somebody who's really ill."

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

Circus doctor.