Divinity Student Gifts

'Oh, I understand -- with the 'coveting' part, we can get everybody!'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

It's about self-control. "'No Thyself".

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

Adam and Eve Arrested

Philosophy Test Today. This "Meaning of Life" question -- is that essay or true-false?

'I have a math test tomorrow, Sir, and I could use a godsend multiplicationwise.'

The truth about the expulsion from paradise. . .

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'What a control freak!'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

'Our ultrasound equipment is not working, so we've brought in famed psychic Jennifer Armstrong to give us a vision of the fetus.'

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

Does this mean we lose our security deposit?

'What did He do before he was God?'

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

"I try to get a head start on them."

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

'You know, sometimes I find it pretty hard to imagine these will be the ‘good old days.''

"In 200 cubits, right-turn, then stay on the current road..."

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

"I want to be a Jockey."

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

Turning with mathematical precision.

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ

"I'm just saying you're not allowed to use your phone during class. You're not being de-platformed."

Philosophy Dept: Are you really here?

'How come you're always trying to teach me things I don't want to know.'

Philosophy Department - Are You Really Here?

"If you quote Rilke again, I'm just going to have to take my bra off!"

Fake Tropes