Divinity Student Pillows

'Oh, I understand -- with the 'coveting' part, we can get everybody!'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

The truth about the expulsion from paradise. . .

Adam and Eve Arrested

'I have a math test tomorrow, Sir, and I could use a godsend multiplicationwise.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'What a control freak!'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

'What did He do before he was God?'

Does this mean we lose our security deposit?

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

'You know, sometimes I find it pretty hard to imagine these will be the ‘good old days.''

"I want to be a Jockey."

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"I try to get a head start on them."

"In 200 cubits, right-turn, then stay on the current road..."

Turning with mathematical precision.

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

'How come you're always trying to teach me things I don't want to know.'

Philosophy Dept: Are you really here?

"I'm just saying you're not allowed to use your phone during class. You're not being de-platformed."

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ

"If you quote Rilke again, I'm just going to have to take my bra off!"

Fake Tropes

"If you want me to ask him that you'll have to wait until after the watershed."