Divine Scholars Gifts

Introducing Ed, The Nephew of God.

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Well, we needed the rain."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"You call this a constitution?"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"I've got writer's block."

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

A surprise in heaven

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

The World's Biggest Book Club

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"What did Jesus order?"