Divine Jest Lover Gifts

'It's okay, they're holy smokes.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"That's my boy!"

The Reason for Storms

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

'We are gathered here...'

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"Those who fail to capitalize pronouns referring to me are doomed to face my wrath! Otherwise I'm pretty laissez-faire."

'I guess it was a mistake to make them self-starting.'

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

God and His copilot

'Good to see you, Doc! I wonder if you could take a look at my left upper arm that hurts when I do this?'

"I hope they read the fine print that the audiobook is to be voiced by Morgan Freeman."

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways ??" except on Sundays, when I take over."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"Doesn't anybody play the harp anymore?"

Devil paints God.

God's Manicure.

'That's Saint Throbbold. Patron saint of migraine.'

Paradise: Collection of wine

Young Jesus learning to walk on water with waterwings around his ankles.

Angel hitchhiker has sign: 'Bible Belt'

"I don't care who your Dad is, you're spooking the fish"