Divine Lover Gifts

'Are you God?'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"That's my boy!"

The Reason for Storms

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"Those who fail to capitalize pronouns referring to me are doomed to face my wrath! Otherwise I'm pretty laissez-faire."

'I guess it was a mistake to make them self-starting.'

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

'Good to see you, Doc! I wonder if you could take a look at my left upper arm that hurts when I do this?'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"I hope they read the fine print that the audiobook is to be voiced by Morgan Freeman."

God and His copilot

'I've got the inside track ... But the Devil uses the big freeway.'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways ??" except on Sundays, when I take over."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"Doesn't anybody play the harp anymore?"

Devil paints God.

'That's Saint Throbbold. Patron saint of migraine.'

God's Manicure.

Paradise: Collection of wine

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

Young Jesus learning to walk on water with waterwings around his ankles.

Angel hitchhiker has sign: 'Bible Belt'