Divine Jest Enthusiast Gifts

'We are gathered here...'

Night-time halo

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"OMG, LOL!"

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

God creating the galaxy.

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

'Actually, we were hoping for a less high-maintenance God.'

God changes His will.

Saint Peter reviews a man's sins.

'That sure was a disaster of a first date!'

Angel Golf

Jesus Seals the Hick...

Should I get these copyrighted, or is that covered by "Thou shalt not steal"? (Published previously on Dec. 10, 2002.)

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

"I'm taking it all with me. I created everything, and it's mine."

'...Now we'd be expecting turning water into a decent '67 vintage at the VERY LEAST!'

"Being God just doesn't pay as much as you'd think it would."

"Ugh, it rings every time an angel gets his wings - how do I put it in silent mode?"

"Do you think everyone hangs out with me because I'm cool and funny, or because I'm God."

''Halliburton'? Wait a minute! -- I meant for the MEEK to inherit the Earth!'

'Great sermon, Reverend! -- If I ever want to find out more about sin, I sure know who to come to!'

And on the seventh day He rested

Jesus is coming. Look busy.

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."