Divine Jest Lover Pillows

'It's okay, they're holy smokes.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

Guitars in Heaven

"That's my boy!"

The Reason for Storms

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

'We are gathered here...'

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

"Those who fail to capitalize pronouns referring to me are doomed to face my wrath! Otherwise I'm pretty laissez-faire."

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

'I guess it was a mistake to make them self-starting.'

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

"I hope they read the fine print that the audiobook is to be voiced by Morgan Freeman."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

People forget, on the 8th and 9th days I created the long weekend.

Don't Walk on the Water

God and His copilot

'Good to see you, Doc! I wonder if you could take a look at my left upper arm that hurts when I do this?'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways ??" except on Sundays, when I take over."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"Doesn't anybody play the harp anymore?"

Devil paints God.

God's Manicure.

'That's Saint Throbbold. Patron saint of migraine.'

Paradise: Collection of wine

Young Jesus learning to walk on water with waterwings around his ankles.

Angel hitchhiker has sign: 'Bible Belt'