Divine Humor Appreciators Gifts

Answer to Prayers - NO

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

Night-time halo

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"OMG, LOL!"

"It's cool – God told us to!"

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Read that last part back to me.'

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

Out for lunch... GOD

"Maybe you're right. Maybe the multiple exclamation points come across as over excited and insincere."

'Have you got anything for omnipotence?'

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'