Divine Humor Appreciator Gifts

God Gives His First Press Conference

"It was a gift from god."

'Make it threescore and ten, or we'll end up with a big Social Security crisis.'

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"I write sins, not tradgedies."

'Good Lord, you throw like a girl. We want shock and awe, not static cling.'

"Okay Eve, how many times do we have to go over this whole apple thing?"

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Night-time halo

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"OMG, LOL!"

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Read that last part back to me.'

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe the multiple exclamation points come across as over excited and insincere."

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'