Dishware Detective T-Shirts

'The Search ended today when the authorities traced the runaway pair. . .'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

Try to guess the continent dining...

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Honest Vending

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

GM Crops Genie.

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"Don't tell him anything."

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly