Dishwashing Detective T-Shirts

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Kitchen Tetris

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"So that's where all the socks ended up!"

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"Don't tell him anything."

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'After you with the camouflage.'

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

'Mine was stone cold.'

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

Missing sock

Plane with banner shoots at another.

The Complete Cycle.

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

'The Search ended today when the authorities traced the runaway pair. . .'

"This place is slipping. The 'Chef's Surprise' looks more like a cook's confusion."