Discovering Family Origins Pillows

Bob spent years tracking down his birth parents only to discover the awful truth. They lied. He had never been adopted.

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'There's no stigma in being brought up by apes - I was an adopted child too.'

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"

She's got your eyes.

'Last year Frank tried tracing back his roots but came back empty!'

"Let's see now...genealogy books...genealogy books..."

The children at their cousin's grave

"I think my grandmother might have married him and brought him home after the war, since then he's just been sat by the fire..."

'Your DNA test results are now in.'

Son, I'm adopted

"Wow. I share DNA with Moby Dick!"

"...then I take out one of these, ll them it's an ancestor, and try to sell it to them."

Birds family

'Do you get your good looks from your mother or your father?'

'Baskerville, that's right: The Hound killed by Sherlock Holmes was one of my ancestors...'

"Gerald took a home DNA test and it claimed he was 0.5% Cherokee Indian."

'Gosh, Grandpa...I always thought you went to school with a bunch of old people.'