Discovering Family Roots Pillows

Son, I'm adopted

"I know her from somewhere. She's either my mother or my daughter."

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

A caveman kid sees his ancestor in a museum exhibit

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

"Son when I'm gone, all this will be yours!"

'There's no stigma in being brought up by apes - I was an adopted child too.'

"I don't want to be a king like Dad - I want to be a pirate like Grandpa!"

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

"We could repair this one of a kind globe that has been in the family for many generations or just throw it away."

"Papi, why do we celebrate Memorial Day?"

"Son, once your grandma wore these shoes. I wore them after her, and now I will give them to you because I think they fit your dresses perfectly."

"Growing old ain't for sissies, but at least I got to do all my lame-brained, half-witted stuff before the internet!"

"And this is the wedding ring worn by my grandmother."

"Alright everyone, let's get serious."

And remember son, never take your grandfather's picture down from the boardroom - it's bugged.

"I've lost touch with my roots, so I'm flying to Omaha but I'll be back Monday."

"I think my grandmother might have married him and brought him home after the war, since then he's just been sat by the fire..."

"Wow. I share DNA with Moby Dick!"