Discovering Family Roots Pillows

Son, I'm adopted

"I know her from somewhere. She's either my mother or my daughter."

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

A caveman kid sees his ancestor in a museum exhibit

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

"Son when I'm gone, all this will be yours!"

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

'There's no stigma in being brought up by apes - I was an adopted child too.'

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

It's time you know the truth about your father.

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

"I don't want to be a king like Dad - I want to be a pirate like Grandpa!"

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

That was scary! When I opened the closet, all my family movies, tapes and DVDs tumbled down on me! Your entire life passed before your eyes!

"We could repair this one of a kind globe that has been in the family for many generations or just throw it away."

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

"Papi, why do we celebrate Memorial Day?"

"Someday son, this will all belong to a post-apocalyptic dystopian future."

" ...and this is the armor of my ancestor, 'Cederick the Unintimidating.'"

"Alright everyone, let's get serious."

And remember son, never take your grandfather's picture down from the boardroom - it's bugged.

Have you even thought of having children, Randy? Of course. I come from a long line of perfect specimens. Each successive generation is more charming, more virile, more irresistible than the last. HOJ. Logic dictates that I am not the end result, I am but a link in the evolutionary chain of Randies. I must reproduce eventually, for the sake of all mankind. How about you? I come from a long line of corporate overlords, each greedier than the last ...

"And this is the wedding ring worn by my grandmother."

"Growing old ain't for sissies, but at least I got to do all my lame-brained, half-witted stuff before the internet!"

"I've lost touch with my roots, so I'm flying to Omaha but I'll be back Monday."

"Son, once your grandma wore these shoes. I wore them after her, and now I will give them to you because I think they fit your dresses perfectly."

"I think my grandmother might have married him and brought him home after the war, since then he's just been sat by the fire..."

7 Reasons You Might Be Irish. . .