Finding Family Roots Pillows

Calling yourself O'possum doesn't make you Irish, Bob.

Family DNA

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

A caveman kid sees his ancestor in a museum exhibit

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

"Son when I'm gone, all this will be yours!"

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

'There's no stigma in being brought up by apes - I was an adopted child too.'

"I don't want to be a king like Dad - I want to be a pirate like Grandpa!"

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

'Shoot, son, if you work real hard and stick to it, I reckon you can grow up to impersonate anyone you want.'

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

"We could repair this one of a kind globe that has been in the family for many generations or just throw it away."

"Papi, why do we celebrate Memorial Day?"

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

Who's your daddy?, INC. It

"Someday son, this will all belong to a post-apocalyptic dystopian future."

Man at desk researching through papers.

"Tia Carmen, are we related to Luis and Walter Alvarez?"

"Son, once your grandma wore these shoes. I wore them after her, and now I will give them to you because I think they fit your dresses perfectly."

Have you even thought of having children, Randy? Of course. I come from a long line of perfect specimens. Each successive generation is more charming, more virile, more irresistible than the last. HOJ. Logic dictates that I am not the end result, I am but a link in the evolutionary chain of Randies. I must reproduce eventually, for the sake of all mankind. How about you? I come from a long line of corporate overlords, each greedier than the last ...

"Alright everyone, let's get serious."

"Growing old ain't for sissies, but at least I got to do all my lame-brained, half-witted stuff before the internet!"

Related

'My goodness! Doesn't she look like her father?'

"Our ancestors used all the hair genes."

"Hi! Is this Jesus of Nazarath, son of David? This is Stan. We're family! I found you on Ancestry."

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

"And this is the wedding ring worn by my grandmother."

I'm beat! Was work too hard for you? I didn't notice you helping dig, haul, plant or water dad's nursery. Boo hoo! He paid you, didn't he? Yeah. But I'm too tired to spend it! Now I can help.

"I've lost touch with my roots, so I'm flying to Omaha but I'll be back Monday."