Discovering Family Heritage Pillows

Geneology Service: 'I'm afraid you fall into our 'better off not knowing' category....'

'Your DNA test results are now in.'

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

A caveman kid sees his ancestor in a museum exhibit

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

"Son when I'm gone, all this will be yours!"

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

'Someday, son...all this will be Mine.'

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

"I don't want to be a king like Dad - I want to be a pirate like Grandpa!"

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Maternity nurse presenting newborn baby with big nose to father with big nose.

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

"Papi, why do we celebrate Memorial Day?"

'...Yes, I do still have all of your Dad's love emails on floppy disc somewhere.'

"We could repair this one of a kind globe that has been in the family for many generations or just throw it away."

"One day Son all this will be yours."

"My kids may hate me, but my great-great-grandkids are going to love me."

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

"Son, once your grandma wore these shoes. I wore them after her, and now I will give them to you because I think they fit your dresses perfectly."

"And this is the wedding ring worn by my grandmother."

"Growing old ain't for sissies, but at least I got to do all my lame-brained, half-witted stuff before the internet!"