Discovering Family Heritage Pillows

Geneology Service: 'I'm afraid you fall into our 'better off not knowing' category....'

'Your DNA test results are now in.'

" ...and this is the armor of my ancestor, 'Cederick the Unintimidating.'"

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

A caveman kid sees his ancestor in a museum exhibit

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

"Son when I'm gone, all this will be yours!"

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

'Someday, son...all this will be Mine.'

"I don't want to be a king like Dad - I want to be a pirate like Grandpa!"

It's time you know the truth about your father.

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Maternity nurse presenting newborn baby with big nose to father with big nose.

"Papi, why do we celebrate Memorial Day?"

"We could repair this one of a kind globe that has been in the family for many generations or just throw it away."

'...Yes, I do still have all of your Dad's love emails on floppy disc somewhere.'

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

That was scary! When I opened the closet, all my family movies, tapes and DVDs tumbled down on me! Your entire life passed before your eyes!

"One day Son all this will be yours."

"Someday son, this will all belong to a post-apocalyptic dystopian future."

"My kids may hate me, but my great-great-grandkids are going to love me."

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

"Son, once your grandma wore these shoes. I wore them after her, and now I will give them to you because I think they fit your dresses perfectly."