Ancestor History Buff Pillows

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

"Ma didn't want to leave out anyone."

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

The best time capsules are our children.

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

Ancenstry.com Your results: Oak: 80% Pine: 12% Maple: 3% Unknown: 5%

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

'Bad news I'm afraid...You've got the worst inheritence for a generation.'

'Sorry, but I can't see a family resemblance...'

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

Dave's most treasured possession was the picture he had of his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.

That was scary! When I opened the closet, all my family movies, tapes and DVDs tumbled down on me! Your entire life passed before your eyes!

"This is your great-great-great grandfather Luis. He met your great-great-great-grandmother at the store where she worked. He was there to buy a lawn mower! She sold him a sheep. They hadn't invented law mowers."

In today's lesson, we'll talk about our ancestors 'The Mammoths'

"This is your great-great-great-great grandfather Felipe. If he was alive, he'd be a very famous man."

"I'll bet he's got your personality."

"Don't look down on me, Buster, my ancestors were dinosaurs...what were yours?"

The Frankenstein monster's photo album.

'...and that's my great-great-great uncle Wilbur. He died of smoke inhalation when his mustache caught on fire.'

"We've finished compiling each of your family trees."

The lake is peaceful today. Hardly! Danger lurks! You never know when nature will strike. That's negative, Nana. Hi! Is Twig here? See what I mean? I'll go get her!

'I'm reclaiming my roots.'

DNA Tests. Discover your ancestry. That was great! I love taking a science test where it's not possible to give a wrong answer.

"This is your great-grandmother Juana. She used to gossip about every member of the family! It's a long family tradition."

"Not one of the Dartford Warblers?"

"The test results indicate you're the descendant of a parade float."