Ancestor Enthusiast Pillows

Dave's most treasured possession was the picture he had of his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.

'Your grandfather? Ah -- thereby hangs a tail....'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

'One of these days this will all be yours and by then it should be making a profit.'

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

"It belonged to my great... great creepy Uncle Edgar."

'Thrilling news yesterday; my nephew's got the Lascaux Caves commission.'

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

"I'm leaning towards the health benefits of becoming a vegetarian."

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

'I hereby leave all my debts and overdrafts to the IRS. . .'

She's leaving me all her money.'

'You really have little choice in the matter, Son -- you're a Bramwell, and we Bramwells have always been pompous asses.'

"My father was a very succesful man. He left me enough money that I could marry an idiot."

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'